Monday, July 31, 2023

My Mom and Me

Here is a photo of my mom and me that I just came across....  It was taken over 10 years ago, before my mom got sick and died....  




Wednesday, June 7, 2023

An Essay on Religion in My Life

My earliest memory of religion in our home was when my parents and I, and a younger sister, had Friday evening/"Sabbath" worship.  My dad played the piano and my mom sang children's songs to us, with finger actions.  It was a pleasant time and helped me to appreciate the acts of praising and worshiping God....  There was a Higher Power....  We also had a set of detailed, children's Bible story books with colour pictures which our parents read to us.  I found them very interesting.

My parents had pressures on them and, unfortunately, they divorced later on.  The first separation came just before my 14th birthday.  But if I had a resume for my high school years, I believe it would be very strong in my employment and interests.  

In college, I started out well but my mental health was slowly crashing, and something happened just after I dropped out of college....  With my religion, I knew about "faith and works," like it says in James 2, in the Bible.  I thought that if I showed that I was living a good life, then God would say that I can be saved....  But we had some preachers who specialized in "righteousness by faith," at the time; and I learned that we can be assured of salvation FIRST, and then we'll feel empowered to live a good life, with God's help.  Of course it made a difference.  

However, my mental health was still bad for a while.  I had a dysfunctional life, in some ways, and was socially withdrawn for about five years or more.  I held onto my faith the best I could, and as it says in Psalm 145:14, "The Lord upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down."  I gradually got a lot of therapy.  I was able to do some work, and I got married for a while, and had a child.

When I got into the special police project, I knew that God had had mercy on me in my lifetime and I could certainly afford to show mercy to other people!  How could I not?

Right now, I believe that God is the Creator and Sustainer of life.  Jesus is equal to God [Philippians 2:6], and He participated in creating the world [John 1].  Deuteronomy 30:19 says we can choose life or choose death.  I choose to accept life, and I'm willing to live it in God's way....  I appreciate life.  Also, we can be "labourers together with God...."  1 Corinthians 3:9. And Jesus said, "...Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world [through the Holy Spirit]."  Matthew 28:20.  I need for Jesus to be with me, and I appreciate it.  Life is a journey, and our spiritual life is a journey also....  

This isn't meant to be a thorough explanation of my life and spirituality but I wanted to share something and do a write-up for this second Waterlily blog--especially for my past college contacts, and for the prejudiced Christian police, if they're interested.

Monday, March 15, 2021

We Did Have Some Good Points...

This past Christmas season, I saw a number of family Christmas movies--as I stated in the original Waterlily Story blog--and they brought back memories of my childhood....

My parents took care of our needs and wishes in other ways but they didn't make a very big deal about Christmas.  At the church school where I attended, the teachers taught about the religious side of Christmas and about giving.... My aunt and uncle's family had a full celebration of Christmas with gingerbread cookies and all the trimmings, plus the religious side, and they invited us over every year....  

By the time I was 11 years old, if not before, at Christmastime, I had some of my own money from babysitting....  I decided to buy whatever small gifts I was able to afford for each of my family members--I wanted to contribute towards them having a nice Christmas!  At that time, we didn't talk very much about love in our family, but I believe I was showing love to them by giving the gifts.

My parents had come from Europe, where the big Christmas celebration was done on Christmas Eve....  It ended up that we celebrated on both the Eve and on Christmas Day....  What my parents did like to do was to have a dinner, and gifts were given out afterward; and on the other day we were invited out....  So, we had two Christmases and I really enjoyed it!  I enjoyed the entire Christmas season; and the religious part was meaningful to me, also.

Looking back now, I'm glad to see that my family had some love--not just from me--and some respectability....  And I believe God put it in my heart to give gifts to my family....  [I did it every year, once I started.]  (My parents gave out a few, simple gifts as well.)  Sometimes the police had told such nice stories about me and I felt bad for the problems...but it really wasn't all bad...!  And one fairly recent movie had told how some Jewish people have enjoyed our traditional Christmas, too.  (Jews have been involved in the police project.)  I'm glad they wanted to relate on this point.  


Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Behind the Photos--Part 2

When I was around 11 and 12 years old, I was teased by Christian friends about being "overweight"--even though my weight was normal, or near normal.  I began to take it seriously and made attempts at dieting [mostly unsuccessfully], over the years.  In college, I got worse and it took some years before I was able to get therapy for an eating disorder.  I found some help immediately but some of the issues lingered for many years....  I dropped out of college in the meantime.


Before I got the therapy, I met my husband-to-be at a small, Christian residential school.  They had unusual rules about "courting" and I had trouble dealing with the situation....  It took some extra therapy to handle this matter and I thank God for all the therapy I've received.


As far as my parents went, my father had told my mother before he died that they should've gotten counselling and stayed together.  My mom was happy with that idea.


My own marriage didn't last that long--we both had too much baggage....  Am thankful that God helped me raise my son alone when he was little, and I received social assistance which was for health and mental health concerns.  I did receive some training as a certified reflexologist; and I made efforts with photographic art, where I participated in an art show.  Later, I developed a serious interest in attending law school but wasn't able to go.


When my Landlord/Tenant and alleged, criminal matters came up, some of the gay police and their associates used them to draw me into the special police project; and I've been doing writing for them....  My ex-husband had also worked with police at different times, and they wanted his help; and I mostly found out after he died....  It's been a privilege to work on a common cause that he also worked on, as a heterosexual.


The police have had their false, gay story about me but homosexuality hasn't been an issue for me, personally.  I've had many other challenges but not that one.


[My parents were immigrants who came to Canada with my uncle's family.  They were quite a strong support for us, and we met regularly with a fellow immigrant group for social and religious events.  There was also delicious ethnic food and we had many happy times with all these people.]

Behind the Photos...

Have posted a lot of nice photos in this blog...and they're the good side...putting my best foot forward, for my family and me.  In the special police project, other people have told happy stories about me and I was responding with positivity/positivism.  But now I'd like to tell what the pictures don't show....


From later evidence, I learned that my parents' marriage wasn't 100% happy even in the earlier years.  And my mom went to college and started working near the beginning.  Also, her family of origin had problems, even though my mom was generally a fairly happy person, herself--at least in her social life.  My parents were only able to raise me and guide me according to what they knew....


As a young child, I was fairly happy but I was shy with adults and I was a little mischievous.  My next sister and I developed a minor problem with sibling rivalry, and our parents didn't know how to handle it.  They decided to move closer to a Christian school and send me there, which I was looking forward to.  My best friend had gone to a Catholic school and I felt it was a privilege to go to my own church's school.


When I started at the Christian school in the second grade, I had an unfortunate incident with my teacher which wasn't a major wrongdoing on her part but it affected me quite deeply.  I felt she was criticizing me...and my behaviour became worse at home.  [At school, I was mostly compliant.]  I got into worse kinds of mischief, once in a while, which included smoking a few times; and my parents tried to ignore it....


In the fifth grade, my brother was born and I had a good teacher who helped me, somewhat....  Things were a little better.  Then in the seventh grade, my school friends and I decided to get baptized by immersion; and my father encouraged me to take it seriously--more seriously than I otherwise would've.  It was an act of faith and my behaviour improved afterward.


Just after my eight-grade graduation, my father told me he was separating from my mom and it was upsetting for me....  He was home off-and-on throughout my high school years....  He blamed my mother and I sort of took his view....  [Then they divorced and my dad left the church for a while.]  Later, I regretted that I wasn't able to get  counselling and learn how to manage my feelings better.  At school, I did my best and did well, however, but it wasn't without some regrets about my home life....


Will continue separately.

Continuing Some Writing

In 2019, I found out that there was a little more--after all--that I wanted to write about my legal matters....  Have been doing that mainly in the first Waterlily blog....  Now I'd like to do some clean-up work in this blog....  To make my issues a little more clear....  Will write about my photos...and I hope some of the parties in the special police project will see what my challenges have been, and that I didn't have concerns about homosexuality in my own life....


Will write more separately.

Friday, August 17, 2018

Another Current Topic

A little while ago, there was a female, former RCMP officer who committed suicide.  She had PTSD and had complained of sexual harassment and assault at her workplace....  I was sorry to hear about the suicide.  Even though a class-action lawsuit had been resolved recently, the RCMP said there was another class-action suit in the works by a group of female officers and they were resisting it....  As far as I understand, the laws in Canada had been refined lately--not too long ago?--and it'd be hard for any man to say or do anything against a woman without having a problem.... 

One thing that strikes me is that it's very insulting for a woman to get any kind of sexual comments or even flattery about her appearance when she's trying to do her job...!  It's downright insulting!  Maybe the men could consider that...?  [In the past, some of the female officers unfortunately endured more than harassment and were allegedly assaulted....  The whole issue is a serious and complex matter to handle, in my opinion.  But I was glad for the settlement which had been made....]

Monday, August 13, 2018

For The Discouraged

Besides the post I wrote below about the financial settlement, or the possible lack of one, I'd like to write some encouragement in case the police aren't ready to have a proper news conference this year...?

People have heard false or confused stories about the Landlord/Tenant matter, about the criminal matters including my mental health, and about the police project.  And I'm praying that God will help and bless each of these people....  I believe God cares and wants to help....  I'm praying the people will speak up constructively if they have concerns, or get support from elsewhere if they feel bad, or they could turn their attention to other things and forget the past....

Then there are a few people who have more or less heard the correct things about the police project, and they're waiting and wondering why things are so slow?  And I'm praying for God to help and bless them, also.  They may need to forgive everyone, if nothing happens...?

If the police would be able to have a successful news conference this year--in October?--that'd be great.  And I'm praying for that too, if possible.  But as I said before, God won't force them....  So, this is my Plan B...and I'm praying already.  [Not to say I'm completely negative about the outcome--I don't know what will happen?]


Monday, July 9, 2018

Let Them Be Fair...

Speaking of prison, I saw a news headline lately which said that half the prison population in Canada are Natives.  That's a very high portion!  And I read on the Internet that in the USA, some of the big-city police forces really have been guilty of racism and brutality....  Not to mention, I wonder what percentage of blacks are in prison there?  If some groups of people typically commit more crimes, that's one thing.  But I hope the police would be fair and not jump to the wrong conclusions....  And don't use any more restraint than is necessary.

"...the poor go to prison"

It's possible a criminal lawyer might say that instead of "malicious prosecution," I had grounds for an appeal and should've gone that route...?  [And it'd be too late now.]  That's why I say I'm not a lawyer and don't know exactly how the law works in this case...?  It happened that I attempted an appeal but didn't know the process very well...and nothing came of it....

Whatever the law says, it was true that different parties were making attempts to keep me from succeeding in the criminal cases, at the time....  And as I've said, I wasn't wealthy enough to hire the best lawyers....

When I was doing some legal research at the library at the time, I came across a recent study in Ontario which had concluded, "The rich get richer, and the poor go to prison."  I know from experience that it's not nice to be a poor person in those circumstances!


More Than One Misunderstanding

Have written before that the divisional Mountie HQ did a certain deed against me at the beginning of my criminal matters.  They did it for a mistaken reason--because they'd been misled about the false, gay story....  As far as the public goes, I think we could loosely refer to this as a "misunderstanding...?"  We don't need to lie if someone wants the details but we don't have to broadcast everything, in my opinion.

There was something the firefighters and their helper did at the beginning of the criminal matters also, and I think that could be called a misunderstanding, as well?  I don't want to spell out all the details in this public blog...and they've been discussed elsewhere earlier.

The point I'm trying to make is that the divisional Mounties weren't the only ones who were mistaken....  So, if we just generally state--as far as needs to be stated--that there were misunderstandings, I think that would cover it?

As far as I can see, the specific, divisional Mounties need to understand all the facts and angles of the police project; and then they can decide if they want to go forward, or not?

Saturday, July 7, 2018

Saying What I Can

Would like to say something more positive so the "malicious prosecution" doesn't sound too negative....  I still believe the "civil disobedience" promoted by Henry Thoreau applies...and it's something the police project needs to rely on heavily...!  The police can consult with whichever authorities they'd like, to get better information than I can give....  And we have to have a realistic view of everything that's happened....  But a lot of good has come out of this....  The police, firefighters, and I, we all have contributed something!  [God has helped me get through this, so far!--And I've prayed, and am praying, for the others--whether they like it or not!?]

The gay police at the divisional Mountie HQ will have to decide if they WANT to carry on...?  Were they supposed to be "A supporter," or "THE supporter" of the police project--to go public???  What do they want, and what's reasonable???  Can the homosexual police succeed, or would it be better for the bi-sexual police???  Just wondering...?  And that's why I think it'd be so good for the police to work together...but some have been resisting....  I don't know for sure what's going to happen...but I can only do my part to say what I can...!

Monday, June 25, 2018

My Reading

As I've mentioned before, I'm reading the book "Walden," by Henry Thoreau.  It's written in old-fashioned English and it's quite long-winded...it's not easy reading!  I'm about one-third of the way through this book of over 300 pages.  Sometimes I think to myself, "Oh, he must be joking!?," and other times I think he's an inspired genius! 

Thoreau was reportedly a graduate of Harvard University.  He was a writer and philosopher, and spent some time working in his family's successful business....  Thoreau was also friends with Ralph Waldo Emerson, another famous person....  By the time, I'm finished reading the book I might not agree with all of Thoreau's beliefs but I still firmly believe that he had something worthwhile to contribute to society.... 

While I'm reading the above book, I'm also reading a book by Dr. Jordan B. Peterson, Ph.D.  He has been a professor at Harvard and also at the University of Toronto.  He's a psychologist and a philosopher...another long-winded person--and he says so himself--but he's very popular on YouTube....  He gets over 100 million views of his lectures....  He seems to be popular with young people, especially.  Dr. Peterson grew up in the far north of the province of Alberta, and it was quite near where I lived in British Columbia with my husband when we were married....  I've read about three-quarters of his latest book, of close to 400 pages.... 


Friday, June 22, 2018

Thoreau, A Few More Comments

At the risk of sounding like a micro-manager, I'd like to bring up a few more points....  I want to make sure the police will get the results they need in good time....  [Please, I hope they will!?  And it seems that often some detectives, or somebody, has been investigating?]

The police could benefit from talking to a news source about the university professors, I believe....  [Like how much to pay, for one thing.]  But the English teachers/professors aren't usually the ones who comment on the news, I don't think?  And there are many kinds of English courses....  We need a teacher of "English Literature," or "American Literature," especially from 1817-1862, when Thoreau was alive....  Myself, I'm not familiar with the large, public universities--only the small, private ones--but I'll tell the best I know....  The police could contact the head of the English department and ask for a referral to a few teachers...that is, if the head didn't want to serve them directly...? 

The high schools are just finishing up their year now; and I don't know about the universities...?  Some professors might be teaching in the summer, and some might be away on holiday?  But I expect that someone should be available?

Some of the universities were already supporting the special police project, as far as I know, but I don't know who the contact people were?  Don't know if the police would like to speak to the English teachers at these schools, or somewhere else...?  Whatever works for them?  Anyway, if the police could get some basic information to start with...then they could continue further if they actually want someone to help with the press conference?  Again, whatever works...?

Thoreau advocated resisting the civil authorities in some cases...and in our case, the police and their friends wanted to resist the laws that used to govern the LGBTQ+ people....  The police, directly or indirectly, also detained me by questionable methods which may or may not have been legal...?  They wanted to detain me so that I could help with their cause, as I've mentioned many times....  And I wasn't the only one working...the police did a lot of work, themselves....  But I've helped.  And my involvement is in question....  [They want to have a credible story that can be told to the public....  And I'm saying Mr. Thoreau's suggestions should be plenty credible....] 

For the record, there's also "The Thoreau Society" posted on the Internet....  But I highly recommend speaking to a university professor, if possible; or to a high school teacher to start with, if it's easier to make a connection?  Any English teacher might know SOMETHING about Thoreau, but try to find one whose field of expertise covers Thoreau...?


Wednesday, June 20, 2018

More Advice About Thoreau--Part 3

If and when the police talk to a university professor about Mr. Thoreau, they need to make a connection between this man and freedom from slavery in the USA--he was quite an influence and I'm sure the teacher would agree--and if the police want some personal advice about their special project, they can talk about the gay issues being related to the blacks being freed....  This has already been done, in some places, in film and TV....  And of course, the "civil disobedience" was done against me, but it was for a reason.... 

If the police aren't willing to make a little effort and expend some means, then don't look to me for help...!!!  This is all I've got, take it or leave it...!  [And I think it's pretty good....  It's excellent, if people will use their heads...!] 

The main purpose of talking to a professor [which is better than a high school teacher] is to confirm the facts about Thoreau...and then we can go on from there.

More Advice About Thoreau--Part 2

Have been trying to research the speakers' lists on the Internet and haven't found exactly what was needed....  The ones I've found were mostly motivational speakers....  If the Canadian or American police are friends with a news outlet, they could ask their advice about contacting a university professor...?  The professors are often commenting on news stories, that I've seen....  [And as I said, the police should kindly offer and be prepared to pay for the professor's time....  And better yet, they could consult with several professors until they find the best one?]

If nothing else helps, the police could find their nearest, reputable high school or university and ask to speak to someone in the English department...!!!  Offer to  pay them for their time, and I'm sure someone would cooperate....  And if you tell them something about your cause, it might help them decide to help you or not...?  [Find someone who genuinely wants to help...!?]

For the record, you can absolutely take my word for it that Henry David Thoreau is a well-known name in the United States...and even in Canada, to some degree....  The police just need to find the right person to talk to for more information [about the "civil disobedience"]. 

More Advice About Thoreau

In case it's not enough for some of the police that I advised them to do an Internet search of Henry David Thoreau, I'll give them a little more advice....

The police could request an interview with a high school or university English teacher who is familiar with Thoreau....  In the USA, it shouldn't be hard to find someone.  I'm not sure if the Walden/Life in the Woods book is read at the high school or university level because I've heard conflicting reports from different sources...?  Maybe a university professor would have more detailed knowledge about Thoreau and his work?  If the police know how to use Google and the Internet for civilian purposes, it shouldn't be hard even for Canadian police to contact an American teacher?

Also, there are professional people, including professors, who have their names on public speakers' lists....  And these names and lists are used by the news media and others who wish an interview for news purposes....  As far as I understand, there's normally a fee paid for this type of service....  [So, be prepared to pay a teacher for their time....]

These teachers could do a much better and thorough job explaining about Thoreau than I can....


Monday, June 18, 2018

Some Time-Limits, Part 2

Continued from below.

If the police want me to cooperate with them after August, they'll need to either settle with me or give me some proof in writing about what's going on....  This is going to be a firm decision on my side and I intend to stick with it.  It's possible the police won't even need until the end of August to resolve the issues?  If we could finish earlier, it'd be fine by me; and I'll keep on working for a few months--if there's much for me to do...?

Also in the past, there've been many times when it appeared--to me--that a settlement was just around the corner...but it didn't happen...!  And this time, I can't go by appearances or feelings or wishful thinking!  I'll need to see something concrete if I'm going to continue past August.  (Maybe the police won't even need me to do anything after a settlement is reached...?  I'd have my own "public relations" to do on behalf of myself after the publicity...to explain my involvement to my family, church, and acquaintances.)

Some Time-Limits, Part 1

What I've been thinking is that the divisional Mounties could have until about the end of this month to decide what they want to do....  If they don't decide by then, others could take them out?  And do they even need that much time...?  But I don't mind giving it, if necessary?

After that, there may be a few other parties who need to tie up their loose ends?  And I wish to give them only until the end of this August, if they need my help or attention?  They'd have two, full months--July and August.  It was in July and August 1998 when I first had contact with some of the community advisors in the police project....  It's been 20 years!

In the previous years, I've said the police could likely call a press conference within 24 hours, and I've been trying to negotiate with them up until October 30, to be ready for the 31st.  But I think that's not realistic.  It's better that the police could have a couple months to prepare....

Also, I've been under a lot of stress because of the police project...and I don't believe I need to elaborate on the reasons why....  It happens that in October I have my annual check-up with the dentist and I'm finding it difficult because of the stress....  So, that's another reason why I want my business wrapped up earlier--one way or another....

Continued.

Monday, June 11, 2018

Updates

Have updated both my first and my third Waterlily blogs....  The "Irish man" has been very involved in my business but the particular, divisional Mountie HQ had a plan....  Maybe the divisional Mounties have to be the first to decide what they want to do now...?  People could please read the other blogs if they want the full information?

By the way, I didn't say the people were "lame," I said the false story was lame.