Have posted a lot of nice photos in this blog...and they're the good side...putting my best foot forward, for my family and me. In the special police project, other people have told happy stories about me and I was responding with positivity/positivism. But now I'd like to tell what the pictures don't show....
From later evidence, I learned that my parents' marriage wasn't 100% happy even in the earlier years. And my mom went to college and started working near the beginning. Also, her family of origin had problems, even though my mom was generally a fairly happy person, herself--at least in her social life. My parents were only able to raise me and guide me according to what they knew....
As a young child, I was fairly happy but I was shy with adults and I was a little mischievous. My next sister and I developed a minor problem with sibling rivalry, and our parents didn't know how to handle it. They decided to move closer to a Christian school and send me there, which I was looking forward to. My best friend had gone to a Catholic school and I felt it was a privilege to go to my own church's school.
When I started at the Christian school in the second grade, I had an unfortunate incident with my teacher which wasn't a major wrongdoing on her part but it affected me quite deeply. I felt she was criticizing me...and my behaviour became worse at home. [At school, I was mostly compliant.] I got into worse kinds of mischief, once in a while, which included smoking a few times; and my parents tried to ignore it....
In the fifth grade, my brother was born and I had a good teacher who helped me, somewhat.... Things were a little better. Then in the seventh grade, my school friends and I decided to get baptized by immersion; and my father encouraged me to take it seriously--more seriously than I otherwise would've. It was an act of faith and my behaviour improved afterward.
Just after my eight-grade graduation, my father told me he was separating from my mom and it was upsetting for me.... He was home off-and-on throughout my high school years.... He blamed my mother and I sort of took his view.... [Then they divorced and my dad left the church for a while.] Later, I regretted that I wasn't able to get counselling and learn how to manage my feelings better. At school, I did my best and did well, however, but it wasn't without some regrets about my home life....
Will continue separately.
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