When I was around 11 and 12 years old, I was teased by Christian friends about being "overweight"--even though my weight was normal, or near normal. I began to take it seriously and made attempts at dieting [mostly unsuccessfully], over the years. In college, I got worse and it took some years before I was able to get therapy for an eating disorder. I found some help immediately but some of the issues lingered for many years.... I dropped out of college in the meantime.
Before I got the therapy, I met my husband-to-be at a small, Christian residential school. They had unusual rules about "courting" and I had trouble dealing with the situation.... It took some extra therapy to handle this matter and I thank God for all the therapy I've received.
As far as my parents went, my father had told my mother before he died that they should've gotten counselling and stayed together. My mom was happy with that idea.
My own marriage didn't last that long--we both had too much baggage.... Am thankful that God helped me raise my son alone when he was little, and I received social assistance which was for health and mental health concerns. I did receive some training as a certified reflexologist; and I made efforts with photographic art, where I participated in an art show. Later, I developed a serious interest in attending law school but wasn't able to go.
When my Landlord/Tenant and alleged, criminal matters came up, some of the gay police and their associates used them to draw me into the special police project; and I've been doing writing for them.... My ex-husband had also worked with police at different times, and they wanted his help; and I mostly found out after he died.... It's been a privilege to work on a common cause that he also worked on, as a heterosexual.
The police have had their false, gay story about me but homosexuality hasn't been an issue for me, personally. I've had many other challenges but not that one.
[My parents were immigrants who came to Canada with my uncle's family. They were quite a strong support for us, and we met regularly with a fellow immigrant group for social and religious events. There was also delicious ethnic food and we had many happy times with all these people.]
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
Behind the Photos...
Have posted a lot of nice photos in this blog...and they're the good side...putting my best foot forward, for my family and me. In the special police project, other people have told happy stories about me and I was responding with positivity/positivism. But now I'd like to tell what the pictures don't show....
From later evidence, I learned that my parents' marriage wasn't 100% happy even in the earlier years. And my mom went to college and started working near the beginning. Also, her family of origin had problems, even though my mom was generally a fairly happy person, herself--at least in her social life. My parents were only able to raise me and guide me according to what they knew....
As a young child, I was fairly happy but I was shy with adults and I was a little mischievous. My next sister and I developed a minor problem with sibling rivalry, and our parents didn't know how to handle it. They decided to move closer to a Christian school and send me there, which I was looking forward to. My best friend had gone to a Catholic school and I felt it was a privilege to go to my own church's school.
When I started at the Christian school in the second grade, I had an unfortunate incident with my teacher which wasn't a major wrongdoing on her part but it affected me quite deeply. I felt she was criticizing me...and my behaviour became worse at home. [At school, I was mostly compliant.] I got into worse kinds of mischief, once in a while, which included smoking a few times; and my parents tried to ignore it....
In the fifth grade, my brother was born and I had a good teacher who helped me, somewhat.... Things were a little better. Then in the seventh grade, my school friends and I decided to get baptized by immersion; and my father encouraged me to take it seriously--more seriously than I otherwise would've. It was an act of faith and my behaviour improved afterward.
Just after my eight-grade graduation, my father told me he was separating from my mom and it was upsetting for me.... He was home off-and-on throughout my high school years.... He blamed my mother and I sort of took his view.... [Then they divorced and my dad left the church for a while.] Later, I regretted that I wasn't able to get counselling and learn how to manage my feelings better. At school, I did my best and did well, however, but it wasn't without some regrets about my home life....
Will continue separately.
From later evidence, I learned that my parents' marriage wasn't 100% happy even in the earlier years. And my mom went to college and started working near the beginning. Also, her family of origin had problems, even though my mom was generally a fairly happy person, herself--at least in her social life. My parents were only able to raise me and guide me according to what they knew....
As a young child, I was fairly happy but I was shy with adults and I was a little mischievous. My next sister and I developed a minor problem with sibling rivalry, and our parents didn't know how to handle it. They decided to move closer to a Christian school and send me there, which I was looking forward to. My best friend had gone to a Catholic school and I felt it was a privilege to go to my own church's school.
When I started at the Christian school in the second grade, I had an unfortunate incident with my teacher which wasn't a major wrongdoing on her part but it affected me quite deeply. I felt she was criticizing me...and my behaviour became worse at home. [At school, I was mostly compliant.] I got into worse kinds of mischief, once in a while, which included smoking a few times; and my parents tried to ignore it....
In the fifth grade, my brother was born and I had a good teacher who helped me, somewhat.... Things were a little better. Then in the seventh grade, my school friends and I decided to get baptized by immersion; and my father encouraged me to take it seriously--more seriously than I otherwise would've. It was an act of faith and my behaviour improved afterward.
Just after my eight-grade graduation, my father told me he was separating from my mom and it was upsetting for me.... He was home off-and-on throughout my high school years.... He blamed my mother and I sort of took his view.... [Then they divorced and my dad left the church for a while.] Later, I regretted that I wasn't able to get counselling and learn how to manage my feelings better. At school, I did my best and did well, however, but it wasn't without some regrets about my home life....
Will continue separately.
Continuing Some Writing
In 2019, I found out that there was a little more--after all--that I wanted to write about my legal matters.... Have been doing that mainly in the first Waterlily blog.... Now I'd like to do some clean-up work in this blog.... To make my issues a little more clear.... Will write about my photos...and I hope some of the parties in the special police project will see what my challenges have been, and that I didn't have concerns about homosexuality in my own life....
Will write more separately.
Will write more separately.
Friday, August 17, 2018
Another Current Topic
A little while ago, there was a female, former RCMP officer who committed suicide. She had PTSD and had complained of sexual harassment and assault at her workplace.... I was sorry to hear about the suicide. Even though a class-action lawsuit had been resolved recently, the RCMP said there was another class-action suit in the works by a group of female officers and they were resisting it.... As far as I understand, the laws in Canada had been refined lately--not too long ago?--and it'd be hard for any man to say or do anything against a woman without having a problem....
One thing that strikes me is that it's very insulting for a woman to get any kind of sexual comments or even flattery about her appearance when she's trying to do her job...! It's downright insulting! Maybe the men could consider that...? [In the past, some of the female officers unfortunately endured more than harassment and were allegedly assaulted.... The whole issue is a serious and complex matter to handle, in my opinion. But I was glad for the settlement which had been made....]
One thing that strikes me is that it's very insulting for a woman to get any kind of sexual comments or even flattery about her appearance when she's trying to do her job...! It's downright insulting! Maybe the men could consider that...? [In the past, some of the female officers unfortunately endured more than harassment and were allegedly assaulted.... The whole issue is a serious and complex matter to handle, in my opinion. But I was glad for the settlement which had been made....]
Monday, August 13, 2018
For The Discouraged
Besides the post I wrote below about the financial settlement, or the possible lack of one, I'd like to write some encouragement in case the police aren't ready to have a proper news conference this year...?
People have heard false or confused stories about the Landlord/Tenant matter, about the criminal matters including my mental health, and about the police project. And I'm praying that God will help and bless each of these people.... I believe God cares and wants to help.... I'm praying the people will speak up constructively if they have concerns, or get support from elsewhere if they feel bad, or they could turn their attention to other things and forget the past....
Then there are a few people who have more or less heard the correct things about the police project, and they're waiting and wondering why things are so slow? And I'm praying for God to help and bless them, also. They may need to forgive everyone, if nothing happens...?
If the police would be able to have a successful news conference this year--in October?--that'd be great. And I'm praying for that too, if possible. But as I said before, God won't force them.... So, this is my Plan B...and I'm praying already. [Not to say I'm completely negative about the outcome--I don't know what will happen?]
People have heard false or confused stories about the Landlord/Tenant matter, about the criminal matters including my mental health, and about the police project. And I'm praying that God will help and bless each of these people.... I believe God cares and wants to help.... I'm praying the people will speak up constructively if they have concerns, or get support from elsewhere if they feel bad, or they could turn their attention to other things and forget the past....
Then there are a few people who have more or less heard the correct things about the police project, and they're waiting and wondering why things are so slow? And I'm praying for God to help and bless them, also. They may need to forgive everyone, if nothing happens...?
If the police would be able to have a successful news conference this year--in October?--that'd be great. And I'm praying for that too, if possible. But as I said before, God won't force them.... So, this is my Plan B...and I'm praying already. [Not to say I'm completely negative about the outcome--I don't know what will happen?]
Monday, July 9, 2018
Let Them Be Fair...
Speaking of prison, I saw a news headline lately which said that half the prison population in Canada are Natives. That's a very high portion! And I read on the Internet that in the USA, some of the big-city police forces really have been guilty of racism and brutality.... Not to mention, I wonder what percentage of blacks are in prison there? If some groups of people typically commit more crimes, that's one thing. But I hope the police would be fair and not jump to the wrong conclusions.... And don't use any more restraint than is necessary.
"...the poor go to prison"
It's possible a criminal lawyer might say that instead of "malicious prosecution," I had grounds for an appeal and should've gone that route...? [And it'd be too late now.] That's why I say I'm not a lawyer and don't know exactly how the law works in this case...? It happened that I attempted an appeal but didn't know the process very well...and nothing came of it....
Whatever the law says, it was true that different parties were making attempts to keep me from succeeding in the criminal cases, at the time.... And as I've said, I wasn't wealthy enough to hire the best lawyers....
When I was doing some legal research at the library at the time, I came across a recent study in Ontario which had concluded, "The rich get richer, and the poor go to prison." I know from experience that it's not nice to be a poor person in those circumstances!
Whatever the law says, it was true that different parties were making attempts to keep me from succeeding in the criminal cases, at the time.... And as I've said, I wasn't wealthy enough to hire the best lawyers....
When I was doing some legal research at the library at the time, I came across a recent study in Ontario which had concluded, "The rich get richer, and the poor go to prison." I know from experience that it's not nice to be a poor person in those circumstances!
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