When I was around 11 and 12 years old, I was teased by Christian friends about being "overweight"--even though my weight was normal, or near normal. I began to take it seriously and made attempts at dieting [mostly unsuccessfully], over the years. In college, I got worse and it took some years before I was able to get therapy for an eating disorder. I found some help immediately but some of the issues lingered for many years.... I dropped out of college in the meantime.
Before I got the therapy, I met my husband-to-be at a small, Christian residential school. They had unusual rules about "courting" and I had trouble dealing with the situation.... It took some extra therapy to handle this matter and I thank God for all the therapy I've received.
As far as my parents went, my father had told my mother before he died that they should've gotten counselling and stayed together. My mom was happy with that idea.
My own marriage didn't last that long--we both had too much baggage.... Am thankful that God helped me raise my son alone when he was little, and I received social assistance which was for health and mental health concerns. I did receive some training as a certified reflexologist; and I made efforts with photographic art, where I participated in an art show. Later, I developed a serious interest in attending law school but wasn't able to go.
When my Landlord/Tenant and alleged, criminal matters came up, some of the gay police and their associates used them to draw me into the special police project; and I've been doing writing for them.... My ex-husband had also worked with police at different times, and they wanted his help; and I mostly found out after he died.... It's been a privilege to work on a common cause that he also worked on, as a heterosexual.
The police have had their false, gay story about me but homosexuality hasn't been an issue for me, personally. I've had many other challenges but not that one.
[My parents were immigrants who came to Canada with my uncle's family. They were quite a strong support for us, and we met regularly with a fellow immigrant group for social and religious events. There was also delicious ethnic food and we had many happy times with all these people.]
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
Behind the Photos...
Have posted a lot of nice photos in this blog...and they're the good side...putting my best foot forward, for my family and me. In the special police project, other people have told happy stories about me and I was responding with positivity/positivism. But now I'd like to tell what the pictures don't show....
From later evidence, I learned that my parents' marriage wasn't 100% happy even in the earlier years. And my mom went to college and started working near the beginning. Also, her family of origin had problems, even though my mom was generally a fairly happy person, herself--at least in her social life. My parents were only able to raise me and guide me according to what they knew....
As a young child, I was fairly happy but I was shy with adults and I was a little mischievous. My next sister and I developed a minor problem with sibling rivalry, and our parents didn't know how to handle it. They decided to move closer to a Christian school and send me there, which I was looking forward to. My best friend had gone to a Catholic school and I felt it was a privilege to go to my own church's school.
When I started at the Christian school in the second grade, I had an unfortunate incident with my teacher which wasn't a major wrongdoing on her part but it affected me quite deeply. I felt she was criticizing me...and my behaviour became worse at home. [At school, I was mostly compliant.] I got into worse kinds of mischief, once in a while, which included smoking a few times; and my parents tried to ignore it....
In the fifth grade, my brother was born and I had a good teacher who helped me, somewhat.... Things were a little better. Then in the seventh grade, my school friends and I decided to get baptized by immersion; and my father encouraged me to take it seriously--more seriously than I otherwise would've. It was an act of faith and my behaviour improved afterward.
Just after my eight-grade graduation, my father told me he was separating from my mom and it was upsetting for me.... He was home off-and-on throughout my high school years.... He blamed my mother and I sort of took his view.... [Then they divorced and my dad left the church for a while.] Later, I regretted that I wasn't able to get counselling and learn how to manage my feelings better. At school, I did my best and did well, however, but it wasn't without some regrets about my home life....
Will continue separately.
From later evidence, I learned that my parents' marriage wasn't 100% happy even in the earlier years. And my mom went to college and started working near the beginning. Also, her family of origin had problems, even though my mom was generally a fairly happy person, herself--at least in her social life. My parents were only able to raise me and guide me according to what they knew....
As a young child, I was fairly happy but I was shy with adults and I was a little mischievous. My next sister and I developed a minor problem with sibling rivalry, and our parents didn't know how to handle it. They decided to move closer to a Christian school and send me there, which I was looking forward to. My best friend had gone to a Catholic school and I felt it was a privilege to go to my own church's school.
When I started at the Christian school in the second grade, I had an unfortunate incident with my teacher which wasn't a major wrongdoing on her part but it affected me quite deeply. I felt she was criticizing me...and my behaviour became worse at home. [At school, I was mostly compliant.] I got into worse kinds of mischief, once in a while, which included smoking a few times; and my parents tried to ignore it....
In the fifth grade, my brother was born and I had a good teacher who helped me, somewhat.... Things were a little better. Then in the seventh grade, my school friends and I decided to get baptized by immersion; and my father encouraged me to take it seriously--more seriously than I otherwise would've. It was an act of faith and my behaviour improved afterward.
Just after my eight-grade graduation, my father told me he was separating from my mom and it was upsetting for me.... He was home off-and-on throughout my high school years.... He blamed my mother and I sort of took his view.... [Then they divorced and my dad left the church for a while.] Later, I regretted that I wasn't able to get counselling and learn how to manage my feelings better. At school, I did my best and did well, however, but it wasn't without some regrets about my home life....
Will continue separately.
Continuing Some Writing
In 2019, I found out that there was a little more--after all--that I wanted to write about my legal matters.... Have been doing that mainly in the first Waterlily blog.... Now I'd like to do some clean-up work in this blog.... To make my issues a little more clear.... Will write about my photos...and I hope some of the parties in the special police project will see what my challenges have been, and that I didn't have concerns about homosexuality in my own life....
Will write more separately.
Will write more separately.
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