At this time, I believe I've done all that I reasonably can--and then some--for the police project. It was about two-and-a-half years ago that I quit writing to California and that completed the main phase of this work.... Right now, my opinion is that I'm facing a no-win situation....
Have decided I can afford to forgive all the parties for not working with me...and I actually can't afford not to because it affects my happiness on a daily basis....
If the parties ever get to a place where they want to pay me the money I've earned, I'd be glad to accept it.... But I'm not going to actively look for it any more.
It probably won't happen but if anybody wants to communicate with me directly, by normal business means, I'd make an effort to deal with them.... I don't plan to contact anyone, myself.
It seems the best thing I can do now is to walk away. So, I'm doing that. People can watch and see if I mean it, or not?, but I do mean it...!
Friday, February 16, 2018
Tuesday, February 13, 2018
2018 Issues...
Going back to 1998 for a moment, I'd like to ask that even if the lawyer involved didn't intend any harm why didn't he discern that the complainant was up to something??? The "stern executive" who wrote the letter also didn't discern anything, it seems??? These two men are intelligent people, I'm sure, and they could've considered the situation more carefully.... [But they both gave obvious approval to the letter....]
At this time, to the best of my knowledge, it's the "stern executive" and/or his associates who are resisting the complainant...they don't want him involved in the police project any longer...and the 1998 lawyer and/or his associates are supporting the "stern executive...?" Is this correct? And
they expect me to do all the work to get the complainant out, without any assistance???
It's mostly the American PDs and FCs who are supporting the complainant.... They seem to have blind faith in him, although I don't believe it's warranted.... And from comments I've heard on my Christian satellite TV earlier--from what police have said to people there--they haven't had credible plans.... It also happens that the population of the USA is ten times bigger than Canada's population....
So, is it fair for the parties to demand that I do all the work here, without any help from them...??? And is it even possible for me to do anything, while some people seem to be hiding their heads in the sand??? If I could help, I'd certainly like to but it just seems that I'm spinning my wheels...!? A little bit of assistance might make all the difference...!?
At this time, to the best of my knowledge, it's the "stern executive" and/or his associates who are resisting the complainant...they don't want him involved in the police project any longer...and the 1998 lawyer and/or his associates are supporting the "stern executive...?" Is this correct? And
they expect me to do all the work to get the complainant out, without any assistance???
It's mostly the American PDs and FCs who are supporting the complainant.... They seem to have blind faith in him, although I don't believe it's warranted.... And from comments I've heard on my Christian satellite TV earlier--from what police have said to people there--they haven't had credible plans.... It also happens that the population of the USA is ten times bigger than Canada's population....
So, is it fair for the parties to demand that I do all the work here, without any help from them...??? And is it even possible for me to do anything, while some people seem to be hiding their heads in the sand??? If I could help, I'd certainly like to but it just seems that I'm spinning my wheels...!? A little bit of assistance might make all the difference...!?
Saturday, February 10, 2018
1998 Issues--Part 3
They say we should be careful of what we wish for--because we might get it! In my case, some of the parties in the secret police project wanted me to get into trouble for making "inappropriate" romantic or sexual comments...it was so that I could sympathize with and write about gay issues...but it seems not everyone was happy when it happened...!? On my side, I don't often have the parties communicating directly with me...I just get clues from here and there...and it can be hard to know how to handle things. Also, the police and firefighters have often been competing among themselves and that's made it worse for me.... But I'll try to sort out what I can....
As far as I understand from feedback I've gotten lately, the lawyer at the Ontario Rental Housing Tribunal in 1998 didn't know about my continuing business...? And I've said I should've written a letter to explain all my concerns calmly...and I really did feel that I was being accused unfairly about the personal letters.... Or I could've been less sensitive and chosen not to react at all...?
Over the years, I've thought and said many times that I believed the intention of the "stern executive's" letter to me in 1998 was to provoke me.... But I wasn't sure exactly which party was responsible for it and everyone denied it, that I could see.... And it was only a little over a year ago that I realized the lawyer had actually been involved, also....
At this time, to the best of my knowledge, the "stern executive" and the lawyer [and/or their associates] are both trying to distance themselves from the complainant, as far as business in the police project goes.... And I've asked often if this is reasonable...not that I want to defend the complainant...!?
The "stern executive" actually wrote me the letter on behalf of the complainant--although the letter didn't specifically say so; and the lawyer had apparently given his permission for the executive to use his job title, which was a little higher than the executive's. So, it could be said that both these men were involved in giving consent to the letter...!?
Did the two men above INTEND to provoke me by the letter, for the purpose of the police project??? Or was the letter--which was somewhat hostile in my opinion--simply a byproduct of misunderstandings over the landlord/tenant matter, at the time...? Because if the men intended to provoke me, can they say they're a lot better than the complainant...? Although the complainant carried things much further in the criminal courts....
Anyway, I think the parties who aren't coming forward with their business are being polite...? Canadians are known for being polite....
As far as I understand from feedback I've gotten lately, the lawyer at the Ontario Rental Housing Tribunal in 1998 didn't know about my continuing business...? And I've said I should've written a letter to explain all my concerns calmly...and I really did feel that I was being accused unfairly about the personal letters.... Or I could've been less sensitive and chosen not to react at all...?
Over the years, I've thought and said many times that I believed the intention of the "stern executive's" letter to me in 1998 was to provoke me.... But I wasn't sure exactly which party was responsible for it and everyone denied it, that I could see.... And it was only a little over a year ago that I realized the lawyer had actually been involved, also....
At this time, to the best of my knowledge, the "stern executive" and the lawyer [and/or their associates] are both trying to distance themselves from the complainant, as far as business in the police project goes.... And I've asked often if this is reasonable...not that I want to defend the complainant...!?
The "stern executive" actually wrote me the letter on behalf of the complainant--although the letter didn't specifically say so; and the lawyer had apparently given his permission for the executive to use his job title, which was a little higher than the executive's. So, it could be said that both these men were involved in giving consent to the letter...!?
Did the two men above INTEND to provoke me by the letter, for the purpose of the police project??? Or was the letter--which was somewhat hostile in my opinion--simply a byproduct of misunderstandings over the landlord/tenant matter, at the time...? Because if the men intended to provoke me, can they say they're a lot better than the complainant...? Although the complainant carried things much further in the criminal courts....
Anyway, I think the parties who aren't coming forward with their business are being polite...? Canadians are known for being polite....
Monday, February 5, 2018
1998 Issues--Part 2
When the Ontario Rental Housing Tribunal executive sent me the stern letter in 1998, there were three men behind it. There was a hint about the lawyer but I didn't know him at the time, as I've said, and the letter made mistakes about my actual Ontario Rental Housing Tribunal business--which was being carried on through the head office in Toronto.... I would've thought the lawyer would've known about it because other executives at his level did...but apparently not...? So, something seemed off to me, with this letter.... I also felt embarrassed because there'd been a previous complaint about my letter-writing by a friend and fellow church member during a failed business transaction between us...but that complaint was later resolved.
In an attempt to reason with the stern executive, I wrote him one or two short letters but he didn't respond. Then I sought advice and information from Canada Post and privacy commissioners because the executive told me he had all my letters at his office in a different city from where I'd sent them.... As I've written elsewhere, I wasn't sure the complainant had even seen the personal letters.... Anyway, I have to be careful of what I write about him and I'm limited....
When I sent the joke, sexual letter I really hadn't thought things through well enough.... Sometimes people have their own problems and it might be better to leave them alone...or I could've explained my views more sensibly and thoroughly, like I'm doing now--but I still couldn't force a response.... I could've expressed myself only.
A short time later, I tried to apologize for the sexual letter by sending flowers but the flowers weren't appreciated.... It took until early 2013 before the flowers were resolved, as far as I could see.... But I had further, legitimate business with the "stern executive" and his office in 1999, and he and I were on a little better terms.
My family and I have perhaps had some un-diagnosed "hyperactivity" issues...? I've had concerns about other family members in the past...but maybe I need to include myself...? By this time, I've learned to do mindfulness meditation and journalling, and they help me a lot.... But hyperactivity and controlling one's temper are ongoing issues to be aware of. [And prescribed medications can actually create anxiety and nervousness, as well.]
In an attempt to reason with the stern executive, I wrote him one or two short letters but he didn't respond. Then I sought advice and information from Canada Post and privacy commissioners because the executive told me he had all my letters at his office in a different city from where I'd sent them.... As I've written elsewhere, I wasn't sure the complainant had even seen the personal letters.... Anyway, I have to be careful of what I write about him and I'm limited....
When I sent the joke, sexual letter I really hadn't thought things through well enough.... Sometimes people have their own problems and it might be better to leave them alone...or I could've explained my views more sensibly and thoroughly, like I'm doing now--but I still couldn't force a response.... I could've expressed myself only.
A short time later, I tried to apologize for the sexual letter by sending flowers but the flowers weren't appreciated.... It took until early 2013 before the flowers were resolved, as far as I could see.... But I had further, legitimate business with the "stern executive" and his office in 1999, and he and I were on a little better terms.
My family and I have perhaps had some un-diagnosed "hyperactivity" issues...? I've had concerns about other family members in the past...but maybe I need to include myself...? By this time, I've learned to do mindfulness meditation and journalling, and they help me a lot.... But hyperactivity and controlling one's temper are ongoing issues to be aware of. [And prescribed medications can actually create anxiety and nervousness, as well.]
1998 Issues
One of the two Ontario Rental Housing Tribunal executives who'd been contacted about me in 1998 was a lawyer. At that time, the lawyers in Ontario had a rule that they weren't allowed to become romantically involved with any of their clients, as far as I understand. This rule doesn't exist any longer, to my knowledge, but at the time it did.
Have heard that the above lawyer has been involved in the special police project...and I don't know if he was trying to stir things up in 1998 or if he was just thinking the way he'd been taught?
On my side, I'd been single for quite a while and I'd written personal letters to men at their jobs several times, with no adverse consequences.... I received various reactions and took different steps to respond, or not.... Have since heard that many people become romantically involved through their workplace, except in a few locations where romance is forbidden (the military is one place where it's forbidden, the last I heard).
After the complainant contacted the two executives above, one of them sent me a letter; and it was stern, as I've written before. First of all, as I've also written somewhere before, the letter was written after I'd implied I was going to stop sending the few personal letters that I did. Second, the letter failed to recognize or acknowledge the difference between my business letters and my personal letters. The letter said only that, "There are comments in your letters of [such and such dates] which imply a personal interest in --- ...." All my letters were written by hand, at the time, but I'd been very careful to write the business letters in a business format; and after I thought my business with the complainant himself was over, I sent the personal letters in the format of personal letters.... If the executive's letter to me had said, "It's inappropriate for you to send personal letters to an adjudicator," I'd have seen the matter in a different light....
As it happened, the wording of the letter angered me because it seemed to me it was being implied that I didn't know the difference between business and personal matters. Also, my injury had damaged my face and front teeth; and it seemed to me that I was being made fun of...but that wasn't realistic.... But it was the anger that first motivated me to write the sexual letter, even though there were other issues that affected me--which I've explained elsewhere....
The lawyer above saw things from his view and I saw things from my view.... We all see the world through our own lenses.... At the time, I didn't even know all the executives or who was behind the letter to me.... [I had contact with some other executives, in Toronto, and there were no problems as far as doing business went.]
Since then, this lawyer has sometimes been friendly and sometimes stern in his dealings with me.... Am not sure where he stands right now, if he's still around, but I have no bad feelings towards him.
Have heard that the above lawyer has been involved in the special police project...and I don't know if he was trying to stir things up in 1998 or if he was just thinking the way he'd been taught?
On my side, I'd been single for quite a while and I'd written personal letters to men at their jobs several times, with no adverse consequences.... I received various reactions and took different steps to respond, or not.... Have since heard that many people become romantically involved through their workplace, except in a few locations where romance is forbidden (the military is one place where it's forbidden, the last I heard).
After the complainant contacted the two executives above, one of them sent me a letter; and it was stern, as I've written before. First of all, as I've also written somewhere before, the letter was written after I'd implied I was going to stop sending the few personal letters that I did. Second, the letter failed to recognize or acknowledge the difference between my business letters and my personal letters. The letter said only that, "There are comments in your letters of [such and such dates] which imply a personal interest in --- ...." All my letters were written by hand, at the time, but I'd been very careful to write the business letters in a business format; and after I thought my business with the complainant himself was over, I sent the personal letters in the format of personal letters.... If the executive's letter to me had said, "It's inappropriate for you to send personal letters to an adjudicator," I'd have seen the matter in a different light....
As it happened, the wording of the letter angered me because it seemed to me it was being implied that I didn't know the difference between business and personal matters. Also, my injury had damaged my face and front teeth; and it seemed to me that I was being made fun of...but that wasn't realistic.... But it was the anger that first motivated me to write the sexual letter, even though there were other issues that affected me--which I've explained elsewhere....
The lawyer above saw things from his view and I saw things from my view.... We all see the world through our own lenses.... At the time, I didn't even know all the executives or who was behind the letter to me.... [I had contact with some other executives, in Toronto, and there were no problems as far as doing business went.]
Since then, this lawyer has sometimes been friendly and sometimes stern in his dealings with me.... Am not sure where he stands right now, if he's still around, but I have no bad feelings towards him.
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